Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

Why did the gorilla fall on the ground Because it was dead

A man had a blue hat, a yellow hat and a red hat. This man has three hats.

Why can't we see the wind? Because no one likes you...

what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

Women's rights

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

What's the difference between a cup of tea and a polar bear? A polar bear is a bear whilst a cup of tea is a beverage

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

whats faster than the speed of light? a jew with a coupon

what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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