Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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A white man wakes up in the middle of the night and sees a black burglar trying to steal his hard earned possessions that he slaved many hours for, being a man who enjoyed living a man of luxury and hates people of foreign nature who steal his things said to him. " get out"

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had an extra penis.

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Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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roses are red violets are black i hope your chest is not as flat as your back.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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Shane Murchan is GAY ..... :L

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fack me in the ace! CC

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at the creepy man across the block.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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knock knock who's there interupting black woman interu- MMMMHHHHHMMMM

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Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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25

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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what do mexicans enjoy eating? food.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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