What is better than a cat? Nothing

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Their, they're, there You're, your

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? The bench can support a family.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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What did the person with down syndrome do? He mumbled for a while, chewed on his thumb, fell flat on his face, and died.

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Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

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Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting cancer from a horse.

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How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

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K.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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