What's the difference between Michael Jackson and chess? Michael Jackson's dead.

What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

Q: How do you get 1000 babies into a bucket? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Tortilla chips.

So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

A black man says "ask" correctly.

THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

Women's rights.

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing.

Pickles

why is john so fat years of over eating

roses are scarce, violets are farse, come over here and i'll stick it up ya ar#e.

Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

Worst joke to tell an orphan. Knock knock. Who's there. Not your parents

How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

Why wasn't my T.V. on? Because I didn't have a remote.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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