Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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what did the short man say to the shoe? i sincerely hope that someone wouldn't try to carry a conversation with an inannnimate object, or else he is socially disturbed

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did the person do at the stop sign? Stop

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

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roses ar red vilots ar blue i have hiv

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What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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what smells worse then shit Drew White

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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My children are huge mistakes.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: That question doesn't make any sense.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Hey I just meet you And this is crazy I took bath salts Your face looks tasty

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How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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