Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Once I asked a Chinese girl , how do I look ? . She said you Europeans all look the same .

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Whats worst than getting raped by an old man? -Nothing, getting raped is probably the worst thing to happen to you.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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Your mama is so fat she has a high BMI and is at a high-risk of Type II Diabetes.

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Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

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What did the victim say to the rapist? If you're gonna rape me, at least let me go get you a condom

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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One day a black man, a white man, and an Asian man decide to bet on who has the longest penis. The white man wins by 1/18th of an inch, effectively disproving the stereotype. They all go home a little gayer for the experience.

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what if i told you that leonardo decaprio didnt need an oscar but an oscar needed a leonardo decaprio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(_)_)=============D

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There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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The Pope, Queen Elizabeth and a schoolboy are on a plane that is going to crash. It crashes and they all die instantly.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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