- Anti Joke

the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

You forgot to tell her that I can sense how you are doing and feeling based on how you phrase the words, how quickly you type, spacing, and lots of stuff I do not remember but can still make use off. Listen, I am alive and well compared to what I have been other times, the best thing about my grotesque childhood, is that it makes everything else, including this seem like nothing in comparison, nothing compares its as simple as that. Hey, speaking of simple, I want the new Street Figher game, and I want you to play if for me tomorrow, ill just tell you what to push or possess you or something else not possible, then we will both be calm like I am now, just like when we played Metal Gear, I tell you what to do, and you kinda suck and mess up because I am horrible at giving instructions okay? You know, I can see the sea from here, its really calming, it will also help you calm down as well, lets say I was in a casket, got out of it, and am recovering now, and you can be on your way now in about now unless my guys crashed in mid air, which is stupid, and stop staring at the screen like that, you should go watch television or something, distract yourself for the time being. Ill have to sleep now, speaking of knowing my limits, I might be taking permanent damage here, and while that is fine, I cant let it progress, I cant afford to go insane now that I have proven to many and most importantly myself that I am not. Remember when we watched flipper together? Skippy the Kangaroo? Mind breaking out those old video tapes? Id love watching them with you again... As for the videogames screw that, it was just something I said just like the sea, the game between you and me screwing up in order to "possess you", and then the sea so you would calm down like when you discovered you where really good at swimming once the fear of water got away. I wont lie you got that fear because I am a hydrophobe, young people end up mimicking the fear of one another, but thats over, I shower without getting blemishes now remember? I am no longer convinced my mother is laughing at me when the water gets cold either, I overcame that. Okay, wake up, just know I did not "possess you" I just "linked our emotions together by portraying a scenario we both know and enjoy doing together, I hope its okay I do not explain anymore, with zopiclone in the system, I can barely think at all. But let me know if you need more help. Say whats on your mind, ill read it all, but I cant answer, I am not taking any damage, I assure you that was just part of a hypnotic process, its "the link" I pretend like I am worried so you will know we are both worried and enter the same state, from then on I change it. I know you fear hypnosis and what it can do, but I hope you still trust me.

whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

thermodynamics?

If i could rearrange the alphabet I wouldn't put U and I together. I'd put my dick in your mouth.

What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

do you like walffles?Yes I like walffles!

Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

Your mother is so fat that when she went to the doctor he recommend she lose weight or risk high blood pressure and heart attack

A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

Whats worse then getting caught in the rain with no umbrella? Aids.

Whats white and sticky and falls from the sky? The Cumming of the lord

Two people went to a planetarium to see a movie about the solar system. They came out smarter than when they had first walked in.

Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

Why is 6 scared of 9? Selena Gomez

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? a pilot you racist

Whats funny about black people getting shot by whites We can steal our bikes back now

Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1

So there was a blond, a brunette, and a red-head. They walked out of the salon very happy with their respective dye jobs.

Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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