Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. It was a dead monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the easiest way to kill a blonde? Shoot her

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

thumb_up thumb_down -5

so dont touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Nyan cat had pancakes for breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Strawberries!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a blind fish? Amblyopsidae.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. see how easy it is to save with GEICO.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge? The fridge is broken and the elephant has mauled your dog

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A priest and a prostitute are sitting next to each other on a bus. The priest asks her what she does, and she says "I sell my body to strange men." The priest then explains to her about Christianity, and she gives up her ways and becomes a devout Christian.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops