Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

What is large, white, and can't climb trees? A refrigerator.

whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

How do you get three Canadians out of a pool? Say "Hey guys time to get out of the pool."

What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

Why did the Mexican cross the river? For an opportunity at a better life for himself and his loved ones.

fack me in the ace! CC

whats long and green? weed

Why did the black lady yell? She was being raped.

If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

What happened to the Californian who drove off into the sunset. He died. You can't drive in the ocean.

what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas

There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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