Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? You eat a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mamas so stupid that she received slightly below average in her latest maths test

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Provolone

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a dead prostitute? - You (or friends name) in 10 years

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did the terorist do when he went out side blew up

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the dog jump into the pool? because the cat was chasing him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the heart attack victim say? Call 911, I'm having chest pains. yeah, your anti-jokes are this funny....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the white man say to the black man? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike?.. She was 4 and hadn't learned how to ride a bike yet... Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?.. It was stapled to the first monkey... Why was Suzie angry?.. Her parents had only found one bike at the marketplace... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?.. It thought it was a game... Why did the fridge fall out of the tree?.. It had no arms... Lucy fall off her bike?.. She was crushed by 3 monkeys and a fridge... There's 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one out, how many are left?.. 499 bricks... How do you get an elephant into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... How do you get a deer into a fridge?.. Open the fridge, take the elephant out, close the fridge... The lion is celebrating his birthday and, being the king of the jungle, all the other animals were in attendance except for one... Why?.. The deer was in the fridge... Little Mia is looking for Lucy and comes across an alligator-infested river... How does she cross it?... She swam... The alligators are at the lion's party... She died anyways, though... What happened?.. A brick fell on her head... Why did Suzie fall off the swing?.. She was trampled by the elephant, who was in a hurry to get to the lion's party in time... Why did the ethologist couple commit suicide?.. Their 3 daughters there killed by a brick, an elephant and 3 dead monkeys followed by a fridge... Note: yeah not 100% original, i mixed some already existing jokes together... works better if you don't tell them all at once but sprinkle them in with lots of other unrelated jokes...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

shauns beautiful

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a kid with cancer? screwed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Lol! Why you wanna know?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear about the plane that crashed and killed 1000 people? My sister has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is sad about a kid dying in a bus accident? The other 20 survived

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my penis, so suck it baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops