Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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There were 3 guys named Sean, Ryan, and Eye. They were best friends. However, things escalated when Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend and Ryan found out. Ryan felt he had to tell Sean that Eye slept with Sean's girlfriend. Ryan went up to Sean and said "Dude, Eye slept with your girlfriend!" Then Sean shot Ryan in the head before Ryan realized what he had said. Game Over

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Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

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Why wasn't the clown funny? He didn't have a face

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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What did Taylor say to the other Taylor? Hi, my name is Taylor

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What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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why did summer hit the child because the child is jackson

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did a second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did a third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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