What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Johnny Manziel is the best quarterback ever (this isn't a joke only a true statement)(this is a remake of a previous joke)

thumb_up thumb_down +50

3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

i am an inbred jew who likes penis up my bum ~Nathan Barras

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

thumb_up thumb_down +44

why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Yes!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the difference between dogs and humans? 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's brown and sticky? Poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

knock knock whos there a boy a boy who ? oh, sorry he just got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what do you call a newborn baby? anything you want.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

i don't get it...none of these are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops