How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 has been charged on 3 accounts of 2nd degrees murder and 6 fears for his life.

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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A man is training his dog. He tells the dog to sit. The dog sits. "Good boy!" said the man. The dog did not thank the man for the compliment because dogs cannot speak.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Milkman. Milkman who? I've been coming here for 14 years and you don't even know my name? I helped take your mother to the hospital for crying out loud! I held you in my arms as a baby! And you don't even have the decency to remember MY NAME?! I'm sorry I don't live in a house that allows milk and other groceries to be delivered, I'm sorry that I wasn't born into a nice family with a nice home! I'm sorry that I have had to come here EVERY WEEK FOR FOURTEEN YEARS and you can't even remember my NAME! My name! I left my family for christmas one year to go pick up that elmo doll for you when you were a kid! I saved you from that burning treehouse! I helped you with you're 3rd grade science fair project and you won! YOU WON! We took a picture together that i have kept in my wallet. And i proudly say here's me and timmy. ME AND TIMMY! TIMMY! But no...you don't need to know my name. Well good day sir. You shan't see me again.

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Q: What do you call an American who has both Irish and Italian ancestry? A: An American.

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Why did the dinosaurs die out? Because you touch yourself at night.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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what did the smoker say to the doctor? nothing she died of lung cancer.

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Q: What is the meaning of life? A: We don't know. Dwight: FALSE. The answer to everything is 42.

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Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

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your mother hates you

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WHO the FUK are Waseem ? and Jess ??!!!!

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I can Nazi

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Anthony Dephillips is handsome

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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