A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

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What do you get when you put a cat in a Xerox machine? A copycat.

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

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Have you ever heard the story of Mikey Braford? Every morning when he was little, his father would fill a gym sock with nickels and beat him with it. Mikey has severe attachment disorder and frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face!

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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why was little johns' stomach in discomfort? because his mom accidently gave him mercury for breakfast

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How many gay men does it take to change a lightbulb? Usually, it takes one gay male to complete this action.

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Q: What do you call a black guy with an air plane? A: A pilot you racist bastard!

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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If you're doing a maths test, what type of pickles are best when licking a baseball bat? Sasquatch

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

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A guy has cancer. He dies.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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