What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is the difference between a blonde and a Mexican? Their hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Mindfuck: They call you a patient where medics are because they do not want you to become impatient. The Coronel is the Kernel of the army (coronel sounds a lot like coronel no?) Sergeant = Sir gent. as in Sir gentle(man) Ok, so if you experience insanity one day, does that make you insane forever? In that case I was born and will die hungry and thirsty. Sigmund Freud= Sickman fraud. General: The guy you should generally listen to if you are in the army. 3.14 ratebay = PIRATE BAY! Why is Satan the antichrist, humans killed him :P Satan only "tempted his thirsty brother with water at the desert" Jesus showed real power by saying "NO WATER WHEN I AM THIRSTY IS BAD FROM MY BROTHER!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Kathy Griffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you heard the one about the three tailed salamander that fell off a bridge? I haven't either.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats not green and cant pee? Not a pea!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the black man get to work this morning? He didn't. He had been struggling with depression and finally this morning, he committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? A. One's a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other's a highly trained professional skilled in the art of litigation.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happened when a man drove up to an escort and said "want to check my bags?" The escort replied "Certainly, sir" due to the fact the escort worked at a hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats a dick a dick

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Women.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops