What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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What's white and sticky? Glue.

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I'm so hungry I could eat food

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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yeah..

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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who drinks pee? katness

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Why did the the man not take acting? He wasn't good at it.

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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I love you, you live me. Now get the FUDGE out of the tree!!!

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. I don't know what happens next, I got the fuck out of there before shit went down

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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