What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's tastier than a dead baby? An orphaned dead baby.

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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What's brown and sticky? A penis.

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Racial Equality.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Why did the room packed with married people seem empty? Maybe they were all playing hide-and-seek. Or maybe the room was pitch black and they were all standing very still and quietly.

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Poop

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What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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