What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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