What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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You are so gay you frequently, and consentingly are sodomized by men and frivolously enjoy it.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

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No one walks into a bar. It is closed.

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What happened when the irishman left the bar? he didnt

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Two gay guys walk into a Hooters... They order cheese fries and enjoy their meal.

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are stuck on an island that is a mile away from any civilisation.The blonde decides to swim to find help. The blonde swims half a mile, has a rest and then carries on swimming.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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A black walks into a Kentucky Fried Chicken. He was a customer.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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What is green with wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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