Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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wanna hear a joke? no.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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What's black and white and read all over? A zebra family that was just murdered by African poachers.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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Q: What is the difference between everything and nothing? A: everything! Moral: NOTHING!

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and mild nudity.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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vagina, hehehehehehehe

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What did the Pope say to the old homeless man who asked him for a blessing? Hahaha, no I won't give you a blessing

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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What happens when you murder someone? The Government murders you.

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Hello

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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