Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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Three males walked into a bar. one of them was a kangaroo.

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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John Kerry walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, why the lost election?"

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Nicolas Cage

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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What kind of a prediction is THAT?

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What bad thing could happen if you gave a black man a gun? ....stop expecting some racist punchline!

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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What did one guy say to another? Womens rights..........

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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Why can't George Washington drive? Because he died!

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What's worse than loosing your pen? Getting raped by a pedophile.

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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Why are females bad drivers? Because it is hard to drive with pots and pans.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" So the horse says, "My ex-wife just got full custody of my kids and I'll never see them again."

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

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When life throws you lemons what should you do? Take cover.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop!? thats what she said

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"You know what sucks?" "vaccuums?" "you know what meteforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "you what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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