Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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Whats worse than malaria? Dying from it.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Why couldn't the eleven year old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-14 and he was unaccompanied by a mature adult.

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A man walked into a bar because he worked there.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Drive an ax through its head.

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A women president

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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So a black man, a white man and a latina walk into a sentence that doesn't end how you expected it to.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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What's worse than a needle in a hay stack? A needle in a stack of drug addicts.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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Your momma's so broke she might be eligible for government assistance. Seriously she should totally look into it.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I'm bleeding, Shit.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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why did the kid get chemotherapy? because he had cancer

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What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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