What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

thumb_up thumb_down +26

"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Trashcan!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a black man and a white man, a white man has lighter skin

thumb_up thumb_down +24

if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops