What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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A list of comebacks: Hows ur face nancy grace ur mom ur face ur moms face take it to my butt, cuz ur the only one that gives a crap

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems Nice tits

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A thin man walks into a Grocery Store. He trips, hits his head and is killed instantly. There are several children present and they are scarred for life.

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a shark in your apple.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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what did the girl who's father was murdered do at her wedding? not have a father daughter dance.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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