What happened in your mom's locked bedroom last night I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a muffin and a scone? One's a muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. who's driving? The black guy because he just turned 16. His school mate the Mexican child is still only 15 and he will have to wait a few more months before he can drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black man found chicken on the floor. He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call women playing the sport of lacrosse? I dont think it matters because Women's Lacrosse isn't a sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man climb to top of the tower? To push the Jew off.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

thumb_up thumb_down +13

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I WILL DESTROY ISIS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's a pirate's favorite letter? None of them. He can't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a Jew an Asian and a gay guy all walk into a bar... ...I lied. It was an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats the difference between a rapist and a pedophile? the racist has his own whistle

thumb_up thumb_down +11

It was nice knowing you Erron, it really was.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

So, Elvis walks into a bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Today is May 18 2016.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A cow was very inconveniently standing in the middle of a golf course. An alligator dragged the cow into a swamp. The cow dies

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops