What did the cat say to the elephant? Meow.

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What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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A terrorist walks into a bomb shop. He soon realizes he's in the wrong shop, leaves and goes on with his day.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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What do Texans call cows? Cows. Calling them almost anything else would be utterly illogical.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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My children are huge mistakes.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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