So three men walk into a bar. One orders a Miller Light, the other orders a Guiness, and the third has a glass of ice water. He was the designated driver.

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What's worse than being the last man on earth with thousands of women to please? Realizing that you are gay and there are no men left.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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A black man in a country bar.

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a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

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how many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? usually one but depending on the severity of the patients' case the lightbulb will be changed by a person who is willing to offer their assistance as to prevent any form of accident taking place.

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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Why did the virgin jerk until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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i jack off in the school bathroom #yolo -toby limbers

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your mums so fat she has to use a matress as a tampon

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KASEEM IS CRAP AT GEARS OF WAR THIS IS NOT A JOKE ITS TRUE (FACT) PLAYSTATION IS BETTER THEN XBOX (BIGGEST JOKE EVER) IV HAD BOTH, SO SHUT UP PS3 BOYS AKA GIRLS

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A man made a sandwich.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing!!

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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what is 6 + 8 a math equation

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How do you keep a puppy warm? You throw it in the fire...

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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Why dont you ever see black people at night? Because the majority of people sleep during the night, including the african americans

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a guy jumped out of a plane...he died

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Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

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A Jewish guy walked into a bar... and said "ow"

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Your time.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do pushups, his personal trainer designed a regiment for him that didn't involve them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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