How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is so fat that she is at risk for type two diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sure, I like all kinds of Juice. -Apple Jews -Grape Jews -Orange Jews The list goes on,,,

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock! Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the fat lady poop on my knee? Because i'm thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A.how does a penguin change a light bulb? A.the same way all other penguins change a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +13

TJE ELIAS, LÄGET?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between an apple and an orange? A banana because a motorcycle has no windows.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

where did sally go after the bombing? everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's brown and sticky? A stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You smell like shit

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man with a hoe? A farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did batman say to robin before they got into the batmibile "get in the batmoblie"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you get if you cross a lin and a deer? A pile of bloody bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a man walks into a bar... it was a crow-bar

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Today is May 18 2016.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black guy buy spray paint? To paint his fence, to keep it from rotting away.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops