An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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Q: What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

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I was walking through the woods the other day when I heard a rustle in the bushes... So I went over and said, "Russell, What are you doing in the bushes?"

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? If they didn't, their turnout gear would not effectively protect them from flames.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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What's sad about the Holocaust? well i don't know ,it may or may not have anything to do with you and cause absolutely no sad emotions toward the subject. I for one don't care.........

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What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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Trashcan!

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What is yellow and has thick, shiny fur? A banana. I lied about the fur.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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What's the worste part about alzheimer's disease? You forgot you have AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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