How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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My name is actually Nero by the way, or Neron, which means black, have you ever played Mortal Kombat? There is a character there Named Erron Black, which is a total pun on that, there is also a character named Boraicho which drinks constantly while Borracho means drunkard in Spanish so yeah, Erron Black is simply an anagram for Nero Black, or rather Neron Black... Anyway, now that we got your brain nice and confused, I can increase the effect with OVER NINE THOUSAND! So your pictures "remastered" on photoshop or something?

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

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whats the only concert you can get into for 45 cents? a 50 cent concert featuring Nickelback

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How do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family.

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ROSES ARE RED WATCHES ARE GOLD GET ON YOUR KNEES AND DO WHAT YOUR TOLD

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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knock knock who's there? Bill Bill who? Bill Smith, we went to high school together. Oh hey Bill, come on in.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why didn't the 13 year old Black boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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Q: whats the fastest way to a woman's heart? A: A knife to the ribs...

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? playing spin the bottle with your mom

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

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why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

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its my money!, but i dont need it right away

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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