A man walks into a bar and brings a Snickers. He gets a beer, eats the candy, and leaves leaving the wrapper. The bartender is angry with the littering but cleans it up and serves another customer.

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how do u make an infant cry? hit it in the face with a full grown salmon.

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Where did Lil' Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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What do you call a black man sitting on his porch in the middle of the night playing a guitar? A Musician.

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A dog walks into a bar and succumbs to heartworm.

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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What happened to the clown that touched the kid? The clown got honked up

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Why did the man shoot himself Because he was black

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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What is pretty, has big tits, talks like a guy, and has a dick? Your mom giving me a handjob.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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? I hate niiggers ?

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Hi

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How do you get a dog off of your roof? Shoot it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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Womens rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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