Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Her boyfriend used a condom left in his pants and then was washed. Making it defective and causing her her to become pregnant.

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why do birds fly away when you go near them? incase your black

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So a seal walks into a club..

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. What about the vampires?

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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Why wasn't there a rainbow? It didn't rain.

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Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

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What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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A little boy starts to be followed by a man in a large white van. They come across an intersection, the boy turns left, and the man turns right.

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Cleveland winning something

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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