What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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Roses are red-ish Violets are blue-ish If it weren't for Jesus we'd all be jewish

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Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Why did the Filipino hate internet advertising? Because navigating around a webpage with pestering visual and audible promotions often proves cumbersome and distracting from the task at hand.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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A black man and a mexican jump from a tree. Who hits the ground first? The mexican. The black man had a rope tied around his neck.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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whats the difference between a white kid a nd a puerto rican kid? one smells fine and the other one smells like he walked out of a butcher shop that sells cigars and cheap prostitutes

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Look at that bitches asss!!

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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What's the difference between a white man and a black man? The white man comes from European descent and the black man comes from an African descent. This leads to the difference in their skin color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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