A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats blue and can be seen in the sky? the sky.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as he wants to.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a Chinese man? There are many ways, all of which are horrible

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hi will

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How can you tell if someones gay? You ask them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a catcher's mitt and Lou Ferrigno? If you seriously said "I don't know, what?" I suggest getting a medical examination by a professional psychologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The 13th Amendment...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man who eats a swordfish at 11 o'clock? Dead by midnight.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock, Knock! Cum inside ;;)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Bin Laden: dang, these pizza guys are so late, this pizza better be free! door: Ring ring ring.. Bin Laden: yes its finally here!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops