Sarah Palin, George Bush Jr and Glenn Beck are having a massive orgy with an illegal mexican immigrant, a member of the NAACP and an empathetic selfless homosexual democrat...no condoms were used because only felatio and cunilingus was being performed...

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Why was the accountant sad? He just watched his wife have consensual sex with another man.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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What did the doctor say to the camel with no hump? You're a horse.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

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What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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Paul howley can't drive, phahahaha

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Yo mamas so fat that she slowly had developed obstructive sleep apnea syndrome and had died due to an obstruction of her upper airway while she was sleeping.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? There's no such thing. 500,000 people can't fit onto one plane.

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Yes.

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Your best friend is different from a dead person. The best friend will die if you shoot him in the head but the dead person won't die, he's already dead.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Want to hear a cat joke? Just kitten.

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What happened to all of the happy birds flying over the field? They were all suddenly stricken by the bird flu and died.

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Heat oven to 375°. Grease 18 regular-size muffin cups (or 12 large size muffins). In bowl, mix butter until creamy. ... Add eggs one at a time, beating after each. Beat in vanilla, baking powder and salt. With spoon, fold in half of flour then half of milk into batter; repeat. Fold in blueberries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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