An American man stopped me the other day and asked for the time, I looked at my watch and said: 5 o'clock.

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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Why is an orange, orange. Because you can't clean a window with a spade.

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

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How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

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How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom is dead And your dad is too

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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If Jimmy has 60 candy bars and eats 50 of them, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

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Why did the man cross the road? To attend his wife's funeral.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops