What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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how many Mexicans does it take to fix a light bulb? One, a Mexican can fix any thing.

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Depends. Some are vegetarians or vegans, while most eat a mixture of vegetables and meat.

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how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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Whats the diffrence between a boy scout and a Jew? The boy scout comes back from camp.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

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What's a terrorists Favorite color Orange

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Moe: What's the difference between blue paint and red paint? Ben: I couldn't tell you, I'm blind. Moe was so embarrassed by his unintentional rudeness that he apologized to Ben and walked away.

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When life gives you lemons, find someone with a papercut.

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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