- Anti Joke

What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

-8

An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

-8

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

-8

Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

-8

Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

-10

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

-10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

Why does Deb wear a hat? Because she is actually bald.

Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

Chuck Norris didn't rape yo mama, yo mama raped chuck norris!

If you stretch all your skin out in a line, you will die of blood loss or possible infection

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was Suzy Knock Knock Who's There The Holocaust

Why was the firefighter carrying a hot girl? Because her house was on fire.

Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

Why did Frank go to the doctor? He had a bad case of the ebeyjeebes.

What's worse than losing something? Dieing.

What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear made her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

What's the difference in an orange? A chicken because a vest has no sleeves.

What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

Why couldn't the old man read the street sign? Because there were no words. Just an arrow designating a trun up ahead.

knock knock go away

whats black? a black man

Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

What is 9 + 10? 21

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