What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

thumb_up thumb_down +19

On Friday the 13th,I had one of those dreams of when you go to school in your underwear. I then realised it wasn't a dream.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A muslim gets on a plane. He is then flown to his destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is Lil Wayne's first name? Wayne

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was an identity thief.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hope you all drop the soap in prison

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

your mother hates you

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Yesterday I saw a black kid outrun a white kid know why? Because the white kid was a cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would be worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Michael Castillo is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the horse sad? Because it seen a Tesco van in the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is worse than the Haulocost? Running across Africa with KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops