What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mary Lu was swinging on a swing * swush swush* and her mom was sweeping the porch when she sad Mary Lu go get that big fat shiny quarter on that road then Mary Lu say how about you get your self that big fat shiny quarter.! Her mom drop the broom in discussed and walkout into the road and was bout to bend down when swush a bus runs her over And Mary Lu just laughed and laughed she knew that wasn't a big fat shiny quarter it was a nickel!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm insecure about my body.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I'm so hungry I could eat food

thumb_up thumb_down +60

what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didn't the man eat the carrots? Because he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, this joke sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did the muffin say to the other muffin when they were in the oven? hi, im a muffin

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

thumb_up thumb_down +169

Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

thumb_up thumb_down +121

What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

what is purple and hairy like a bear? A purple bear

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops