So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Hello penis

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Why did a young boy fall off a building? Gravity.

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Wherever you left it

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

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What do you say to a black man on fire... Stop, drop and roll !!!

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Why was the black man afraid of the chainsaw? Because its a potentially dangerous weapon

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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hi

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Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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