How do you make a baby cry? You punch him him the gut and slap him multiple times.

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If you like this, it will have one extra like

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock... Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Why was the women out of the kitchen? She felt the desire to relax after a day of work...

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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Why did samantha die? Because she had cancer.

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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do you want to hear a joke?

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Q: How can you fit 1000 jews in one car? A: The Ashtray

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Knock knock, Come in...

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

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Two men and a woman jump out of a plane. They forgot their parachutes and all died.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.

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James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

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Q. Why does Samuel Jackson always play a black guy? A. Because he's black.

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Whats black, blue, and doesn't like sex? The little boy in my trunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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