what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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What do you call a white man flying a plane? A pilot. What do you call an Arab man flying a plane? Also a pilot.

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I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

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Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

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How do you get a nun pregnant? Screw her.

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Q.What do you call a apple with a unibrow? A. A failed science experiment!!!

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Whats worse than an offended chicken walking around with a squirrel stapled to its back? A crusty old man with hepatitis peeing on 10 babies.

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Why couldn't the unicorn fly? It was a horse.

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Question: What is black and white and read all over? Guess: A newspaper? Answer: No. A zebra that was shot by a poacher. Poaching is a serious problem all over the world and should be looked down upon by all. It is not something to joke about.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

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Your mom is absolutely pefect. This makes me love HIM.

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A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

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what is cooler than writing an anti joke? killing eveybody who thinks the " my garden is on fire" joke is funny

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why was Austin sad cause his dick fell off

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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you just contradicted yourself.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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