A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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What did the African-American get for Christmas? Nothing. I did mention he was African-American, right?

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Shoot her in the head repeatedly

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his tricycle? He was run over by a bus.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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Two boys were walking down a building which was under construction. Suddenly a brick hits the 1 one in the head while the 2 guys aunt was in America.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What's black and twelve inches long? A Maglite.

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Why was little billy sad? He had a crouton stuck up his asshole.

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Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: He was in one tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over to warn everybody in the other tower and while he was in the other tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on that park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich...not too much mayo...just the way he likes it.)

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How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

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So two clowns walk into a bar... . . . . . . . . . . They died

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

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No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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