Why doesn't Rosa Parks eat bacon? Because she's dead.

What happens when you cross a starfish with a dog? Dogs and starfish are from a different phylum. They are genetically incompatible.

what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a metaphor.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

A blonde sits down in first class on a flight to Miami. That's because she had a ticket for the seat.

u know y blondes and tornadoes r so alike? first theres a lot of blowing and sucking, and then u lose ur house!

A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

Why didn't the man finish his dinner? His dinner was a wheelchair.

Why do black people log onto blackpeoplemeet.com? To meet black people.

What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

What do you do if a Polish soldier throws a hand-grenade at you? Run.

A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

knock, knock come in

So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

What did the guy say to the other guy? LOOK AT MY EYEBROWS!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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