Can Geico save save you 50% on your car insurance? Does a former drill sergent make a terrible therapist?

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A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come home from camp.

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A man sees a clown, a robot, and a monkey walking down the street side by side. The man ponders the randomness of life.

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There are 3 types of people in this world, those who can count to potato and those who can't.

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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Why did little Tommy sink to the bottom of the pool? He had no arms.

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Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

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My girlfriend once told me " Life is like a penis, it's hard."

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Why was the little boy late to church? He was getting raped by the priest. ....the priest was late too.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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Three Jews walk into a bar. One says something to the other two, but it was in Yiddish, and I don't speak that, so I don't know what he said, but all of them laughed really hard, so it must have been funny.

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what do all black jokes start with (look left look right)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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