A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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Jimmy went to a bar, to see a stand up comedian, he heard the standup comedian tell a funny joke, so after the show, he went home and told his wife the joke and after that he said, i made that up, im funny arent i, the wife seemed shifty, so she googled the joke and found the stand up comedians joke, giggled and then proceeded to continue back angrily to Jimmy, because he just did the wrong thing, she slapped Jimmy in the face, divorced Jimmy and killed his 3 children because Jimmy plagurised, and plagurism is illegal, and now Jimmy has no children, and a red mark on his cheek and knows he did the wrong thing don't smoke kids

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Whats cooler than cool? Ice Cold.

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

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A Grape Soda inside a Chicken inside a Watermelon. Blackception.

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Why was the blonde sent to prison? Well there could be a number of reasons, but I for one do not know this specific blonde so I can not help you.

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You Know Wats Funny? Jokes....

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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A drunk is pissing on the plaza and the cop stands next to him and says, very nice. The drunk says, that's what she said. : )

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Why do jewish women like to get their sons circumcised? They like anything 25% off.

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whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

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say this really fast dick chick, chick, dick, dick chick,chick dick, dick chick if you cant like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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