whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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what did the blind man say as he past the fish market? he asked one of the fisherman if they had any fresh catch that day and bout three tuna steaks for his wife and son

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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Why did the mexican jump when he heard police sirens? The sirens where very lound and abrupt. Therefore startling this mexican man.

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So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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Whats the square root of x^2? Variables cant be gay

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What is not a crocodile? The teenage mutant ninja turtles

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Q: What do you call a black girl with braces? A: A black and decker pecker wrecker

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops