Roses are red violets are blue I would test our new water bed so be carefull with your helled shoe!

If Daniel has 3 concaved man boobs, and Isabelle has 13 homosexual friends, what is the ratio of dolphins to African rapists? Wenis, because Jimmy was raped last night.

Whats black and white, and red all over? A: Your grandma, naturally black haired, beaten to a pulp and left pale white with blood covering the majority of her body.

five high school freshmen get into a car on a Friday.They are too busy looking forward to the weekend that they speed into oncoming traffic and all die in a horrible collision.

whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

Why can't the cheetah run fast anymore? Because it died in a forest fire.

Why was the man crying? Because he was punched in the stomach.

what happens when I bought a car. A man stole it from me and killed my family.

Did you hear about the big Polish tragedy? There was a power outage in Poland's busiest shopping mall, People were stuck on the escalators for 4 hours. A woman gave birth in the elevator and died.

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

What did the kid with no arms and no legs go for christmas? Cancer

No, luke. I am your father. damnit

What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

Why are old people such terrible drivers? As we age, our eyesight slowly deteriorates and our reflexes become slower. So, in order to be cautious, the elderly avoid high speed chases and such to maintain their and others safety. Or they could have alzheimers and not realize they are in a moving vehicle at all, it's really a tossup

what do you call a black man on crack? a crackhead.

A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

Why did so many white people vote for obama? They strongly believed in what he had to say, and believed he was the right person to lead our country during its troubled times.

"Do you wanna hear a funny joke?" Yeah, Sure! "A funny joke."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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