Knock Knock. Who's there? Salesmen. Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a cucumber

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yo momma's so fat she sat on a tiny chair and relaxed.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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why was the boy laying on the ground? he got shot in the head

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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Roses are red Violets are blue One fish two fish Red fish blue fish

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There once was an Asian kid who got a B+ in Math. He was later yelled at and beat by his parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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What do you call a fat man that can turn slim REALLY fast? Drew Carey

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Roses are red Violets are buckets This poem makes no sense Boobs

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What do you do when you see Godzilla? You offer him ice cream.

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I dont know, are you a tomato?

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Knock Knock!! Who's There? No one, your being ding dong ditched!

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Womans profesional lacrosse

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A white man, a black man, an Asian man, a Mexican man, a subasian man, an Austrailian man, and a Canadian white man. That's it.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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What did the rabbi say to the priest? I respect your religion but have faith in judiasm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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