Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's being held hostage against her will.

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Roses are red, Violet are violet, not blue, dumbass.

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Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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When life gives you lemons... wait that wont happen

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A walrus walks into a bar

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A scotsmen, an Irishman and an Englishman all walk into a bar. The publican had accidentally left the door unlocked and the bar was in fact closed. So they left.

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What does a bartender say to almost all of his customers? May I please see your I.D.

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cos it wanted to.

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if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

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What do you call a black man who walks into a jail cell? A hard working and dedicated police officer who was just putting his first offender in jail.

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why is the black man black? because he isnit white

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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why are black people so good at basketball? because they all can run jump steal and shoot

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What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? You hit it in the face with an axe.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Unfortunately there are billions of chickens in the world and based on the question it is not possible to determine which specific chicken is being referred to. Even if we were able to ascertain this knowledge it would be unlikely that we could determine its purpose, as chickens don't usually make decisions based on logical thought.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops