What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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"My foot is killing me" "no, actually it's that noose around your neck"

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Q: Why did Katie fall of the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Katie

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

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68

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What sentence on this site is the biggest cause of forever alone. "No comments yet. Be the first"

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What's worse than a rainy day? Dropping the soap

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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ugh good riddance

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So. The gays. ...

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Q: What did Robin Williams say to the young boy? A: Nothing, He is dead

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Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

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soccor

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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