Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

Roses are red Violets are red Oh god I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

Ya know how when geese fly in a V-shape, one side is longer than the other? -Yes Do you know why that is? -No Because there's more geese on that side

Once upon a time, your face.

Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

If life gives you lemons, you shoud be thankful it didn't give you AIDS.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating at night? A: Yell "DROP IT NIGGAH!" Q: What do you do if you find your tv floating in the day time? A: Run away cause your house is haunted.

Q: John has 400 cookies, 200 hundred are chocolate chip and the rest are sugar. John eats 100 of each, what does he have now? A: Diabetes

An elephant walks into a bar. He nearly levels the entire structure as he forced his way through the front door.

How did the Jew escape being put in the gas chamber? He killed himself.

why did the little girl fall off the swing - she had no arms.

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

Why can't the t-Rex clap..... Because it is dead

Knock Knock Whos there? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour? The police, we've been getting reports of many ironically named metaphors knocking on your door to which you reply witty utterances, can you explain this frankly quite disturbing behaviour who? Wait aren't you the one who's supposed to supposed tell the punchline? Oh Yeah

Knock Knock! Who's There? Whoevers at the door you should probably go answer it.

whats worse that 3 black guys dieing in a train accident .... one was ur brother the other was gay

What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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